Monday, May 21, 2012

Long Distance Advice.

Dear Sweet Summer. Thank you for finally coming and visiting. The weather is perfectly hot. My days are perfectly unplanned and adventurous.

Now. I'll stop talking to Summer like it's a person. Yup. That's a little weird.

Although my summer is off to smashing start, there's just been a little something that hasn't exactly been the bee's knees. Well, this guy mentioned first here, I still like. A lot. But, for the next six months, he'll be a state away.

Ok. Writing that last sentence made me feel like a girl. Big time. Who knew that someone just being a state away (granted at the moment he's back home in his Rocky Mountain state) could really seem so stinkin' far. Well, I know now, I guess.

He took off before the weekend started, so as I continued with all the weekend hooplah, people kept asking me where he was. Time after time, I had to tell people that he wasn't going to be here (forsixverylongmonths). Totally not brought on by my prodding, people would commence their "long-distance relationship" advice.

Trust you me. I am not going to claim I know anything about dating long-distance. This girl is a noob. But, here's some advice of note.

"Yikes. Long distance? How on earth are you going to handle that? You're not even going to be a part of each other's lives. Well, I guess it's a make it or break it time. Just remember that."

Alrighty. So, this is make it or break it time. Got it.

"It's going to be hard on you guys, for sure. But, just try not to get too bored with each other."

Don't get bored. Check.

All these people offered their advice, only a select few shown above, and obviously they care about this relationship which is totally sweet, but it was just hard to sort out everything they were saying. Overwhelming? You betcha.

BUT. There was one couple who gave me something that I'll remember. And, probably use over the next six months.

"Don't just find things to do and experience together while you're apart. Those things are important, no question, but there's something more important. Find something that will direct the time you spend talking towards God. He put this in your life to grow and stretch you. So, use this time to make the relationship stronger."

I just stood there after they got done sharing about their own experience of long distance dating. Deer in the headlights. What advice they'd given me from the perspective of how this time apart could be used to honor God. These six months don't have to be just time where our relationship is held by a tiny thread.

Last night before I got my first phone call from this not too shabby boy, I was reading The Gospel Primer (and, my word, if you haven't read it, I implore you to do so. mmhmm. so much gospel goodness). Before I picked the book up, I was missing this boy something awful. But, I was reminded that I don't deserve all the good pleasures God has given me. Nope. Not at all.

I was feeling sorry for myself. For my situation. Which, let's be real, is a far cry from the worst thing that could happen. Come on, Erika. So, the next thing I read was the following:

Instead of giving thanks to Him and humbly submitting to His rule over my life, I have rebelled against Him and have actually sought to exalt myself.

Yup. Conviction time.

Anywho. Aside from sorting out all the jumbled "advice" from everyone and their mom (literally, their mom), I haven't needed to think of much, but the gospel. Maybe that's enough? I think so.


  1. Erika-
    IT CAN WORK... I promise. As you know, God can do ANYTHING and if it is His will... there is a way. I can tell you from past (and current) experience that it can work. It's REALLY hard and takes a lot of work, but your time together is just that much sweeter when you get it! He must be a great guy, if you like him this much and that is fantastic!

    And while we do not deserve His blessings:

    He still bestows them.
    He wants us to be happy.
    He has a plan for you.

    I will be praying this summer :)

  2. Nick & I were very blessed by long distance after doing it for 1.5 yrs. It has lots of little blessings that you don't get to experience the same way when you live right next to each other (for example: I'm so thankful for how it taught Nick & I to communicate)

    I'd offer to get together and chat if you ever want about it, but I don't want to overwhelm with advice ;) So this is me not offering to get together and chat about it-- oh, and I'll bribe you- if you want to get together, I promise I'll bring a really cute baby (as soon as she comes out...)