I guess I always thought it came with the territory. It seemed like the right thing to do. And frankly, everyone was and is still doing it. So, why am I not part of the crowd? Why did I just happen to get left out of this rad game of "let's date and get engaged in college"?
What I'm not so subtlety alluding to is the numerous amount of couples that are enaged. And by numerous, I mean that I cannot at the moment think of a couple that is not engaged. They're everywhere. Dropping like flIes.
Do I hate relationships? No. Do I hate marriage? No. In fact I think the two former items are quite lovely. Amazing really. I'd be the first person to say that weddings are my favorite. Who doesn't love to celebrate the perfect earthly representation of God's love for us? And, it's just an added bonus when there's dancing, food, and a giant cake. If you don't believe me, and still think I'm a cynical feminist, then click here. Then why oh why Erika are you even writing about this? What a good question. I'm so glad you asked.
It's the theory of mob mentality. Or otherwise known as "group think." When a large group of people act in a certain way, you're more prone to follow suit. In my case, when a whole slew of people get engaged, then I too begin to wonder why I am not (age, position, and college aside). All rational thoughts go out the door, and I convince myself that I simply must join the in-crowd.
I feel this way even though I a)really have no desire to commit myself to a relationship right now and b)don't think I'm in a position in my life where marriage is feasible.
So, maybe this post really isn't anything to do with you. Maybe, it's just for me to see how much I don't "need" a relationship right now, and how much I do need Jesus right now.
My desire to follow the mob is rooted in my lack of satisfaction found in my King. I don't think he can satisfy. I don't think that he is faithful. I don't think that he is strong enough. I don't think he can sustain.
That last paragraph is pretty ugly. But, it's sadly so full of truth. Do I live everyday knowing that God satisfies, sustains, and provides for me. He does this not just until I find a man that can help him out, but he'll do this forever. And ever. Man or no man. Diamond ring or not. Perfect job or not. Soccer mom or not.
So, I have learned that no matter the circumstances, I must be content (Phil. 4). There's so much about God that I have yet to learn. There's so much life yet to be lived. It would be a shame to think that I missed out on that just because I wanted to be like everyone else.