Oliver Twist+Twigs Revisited

I spent most of my evening curled up on my bed with Dickens' Oliver Twist completely enthralled with the characters. Oliver got kidnapped while he was out on an errand for a nice old chap and my mind slowly drifted after that point. Looking around my room at the bevy of pictures hodge-podged on cork board I began to feel nostalgic. The majority of my pictures were from last TeenPact season (because I'm awful at printing pictures off, and that was when my last photo printing spree happened...). There were pictures of me and my friends jumping off the pier in Boston, hiking in New Hampshire, playing frisbee in Austin, meandering around Gettysburg, and "abbey laning" it in Indianapolis. I physically sighed and thanked God for every one of those moments.

(Riding the metro to a Red Socks game)

(Anna Kate. Words cannot express the love)

(The team on the Boston Harbor)

(Clay, Kalyn, and Me at Gettysburg)

(Post massive snow ball fight. So much love after so much cold)

While I was in the midst of all my travels, I lost perspective on how insanely blessed I truly was (yes, I was a selfish little twig). I got to spend weeks on end with people who I loved and who loved God. It was a little slice of heaven. Constantly, people asked me how they could pray for me, shared what God had been teaching them, and encouraged me to just have fun (what, you can talk about God and have fun?).

I have no doubt that this year will be just as sublime as last (and dare I say, better?). Still, I know that God will bless in ways I simply do not deserve. This time however, I want to enjoy every moment and relish it (not being a twig).

After I had sighed and recalled all the pleasant memories associated with those pictures, I promptly slipped out form under the blankets and began to take them all down. I wasn't taking them down because I was bitter or depressed about not involved with TeenPact anymore. No, I took them down and put them in my photo crate because I wanted to make room for new memories. My wall isn't completely barren; there are people who stick with me throughout every year, and for them I am thankful.

Happy Tuesday!

Facebook Bitterness

I probably spend too much time on Facebook, but let's face it, it's how my generation talks. As sad as that previous statement is, it is very true. So, every day or so I like to get on Facebook and catch up with my friends far and near.

Snooping though some of my friend's pictures, I came across some of their recent trip to D.C. All of a sudden, it hit me. A huge wave of jealousy. All my friends are living the life that I thought would be mine. These friends are involved in the organization TeenPact which I've been a part of the past three years. This year, my friends are all interns for the ministry. God gave them the awesome opportunity to travel around the country mentoring high school students.

As I clicked from picture to picture, I couldn't stop the bitter feelings. Why did God withhold that opportunity from me? And to be honest, I can't answer that question. I wish I had the answer. For now, all I know is that I'm in Indiana trying to serve God while my friends travel across the country all semester.

This isn't meant to be a blogosphere pity party, but the feelings those pictures uncovered are ugly. I don't want to be bitter toward my friends or my current situation. So, for now, I'm trying to be content and live everyday one minute at a time knowing that out there God has something worthwhile for me to give my time to.

The waiting is just hard.