I didn't wake up to my alarm.
So, my morning went down hill from there (it doesn't take much, apparently...). The schedule for the rest of my day instantly became monotonous and sounded like drudgery. But, my Mondays are the easiest day of my week. Two classes that don't start until 2:30. Guess I was just determined to make it a bad day.
It didn't take much to realize that the gospel meant nothing to me. Really, Erika, one late alarm is going to ruin an entire day of opportunities to glorify God? What a waste.
Instead of hunkering down to do projects (that really don't need to be done right now), I forced myself to sit down with my Bible. And, I wasn't going to make it easy. No skipping of my reading-through-Isaiah path. I was determined. There's truth in there, and I am going to find it. Search for it. Apply it.
I read the first two verses of Isaiah 13. Then, I stopped. What on earth was I reading? Something about Babylon and the Medes. Reading about something that held no meaning to me wasn't going to cut it. So, I jumped down the stairs to my dad's office (yes, I literally jumped). On the wall of shelves covered with Christian literature (my parents are the bestest), a commentary with violet binding caught my eye. I yanked it off the shelf and went back to my perch.
It took a while to digest the chapter in Isaiah, but the reward of really searching through God's word is remarkable. And convicting. There are so many things in my life that I try to put in the place of God. I expect people to be my all-the-time spiritual go-to's. And, that kind of (no, not kind of, it really does) puts them in the place of God. A place where no human being was ever meant to be put. No matter how Godly someone may be, the reality is that they will always disappoint me and I will forever be groping in the dark for God. I have to search for Him on my own.
Well, sure, other people can be of tremendous help, but they aren't my god (at least they shouldn't be...not to say that it never happens). I love the way Tim Keller put in in his book Counterfeit Gods, "Something is safe for us to maintain in our lives only if it has really stopped being an idol. That can happen only when we are truly willing to live without it, when we truly say from the heart: 'Because I have God, I can live without you.'"
Can I live without everything (everyone) but God? Yikes. Scary thought.