Sunday, January 2, 2011

2010, 2011+A Fake Pity Party

It's the beginning of 2011 and I have been furiously jotting down goals like the dickens(seriously, they're probably as long as a Dickens' novel). My mind has been in the planning mode for weeks preparing for ideal goal setting. So far, I'm pleased with the goals I've set and I think that they're reasonable, but also far different from any I've ever set before.

But, as I look at what all I've set forward as things to do in 2011, I have realized that I don't have any true control over any of it. Let me explain a little of what happened to my goals of 2010:

1. I set my 2010 goals in November of 2009 (I wanted to jump the gun, I guess...). At this point I didn't know that a) I was accepted onto the TeenPact staff team and b) that I would be traveling to 8 different states for that purpose. Thus, my school/academic, relational (at least the ones at home), and church serving goals were thrown in the trash. There was no possible way that I could do that.
2. I was gone for a total of 10 weeks in the spring of 2010 for TeenPact, Speech and Debate, etc.
3. I was gone all summer interning for several radio stations.
4. I came home and realized that my life in Lafayette had slowly dissolved. I had only a couple of friends who had stuck with me (and vice-versa), and I hadn't seen my siblings in a long time. My church seemed distant and unfamiliar.

Please, do not mistake the above as a pity party for poor Erika (because honestly, my 2010 was so super legit...I did sooo much). I cannot believe all the opportunities that God gave me. As I stand in 2011, I keep thinking "how in the blue blazes am I going to make this year even better than last year?" I've just spent the last three months gaining my life back and reestablishing what fell apart while I was gone.

This year I'm not planning on:
1. Traveling to 8 states (and then some).
2. Interning for radio stations.
3. Dissolving friendships at home.

It's hard to think that my hippie/nomad year of 2010 has come to a close and that I'm starting off on a new journey (that scares the living daylights out of me).

1. finishing high school.
2. *fingers crossed* backpacking through Europe.
3. starting college
4. living on my own
in 2011.

Inside, I feel like a little kid wandering through a see of adults looking for my parents, looking for something secure, something to cling to. God was there when I came home after last spring and found out I had no friends. He was there when I struggled regaining friendships I'd neglected. Why wouldn't he be there when I'm standing on the precipice of a year of change? Trust me, he'll be there if I'm there loving him and loving others. Isn't that beautiful?

No comments:

Post a Comment