Friday, October 1, 2010


So, life has been pretty crazy. For the first time last night, I slowed down and spent and hour watching GLEE. Sure, I should have been studying for this upcoming week of craziness, but I wasn't. I go to class, come home, study, repeat. It's a vicious cycle. That's just the problem, it's a cycle.

Getting my school work done and taking care or responsibilities is of first priority, but recently I've been wrapped in me. Doing what I need to do, when I need to get it done.

My mother and I have decided that for my college applications it would be good to attach my resume. One problem, I don't have a resume. So, that means that this weekend on top of a soccer tournament, accounting homework, and watching my little sister I need to create one. One more task that's about me.

I've also been working like a hermit crunching numbers for hours on end. Basically, I'm taking calculus this year. I love it, don't get me wrong, but it's just a lot of time to spend everyday on one class.

And to add to the madness, I'm applying to college. Have you looked at the applications recently? The want to know your entire family and what they do down to what type of cat food my feline eats(just kidding, but, no it's ridiculous). So, what I thought would take an hour max to fill out an application now takes days.

More and more, I've realized that my life is about me. Not about what God wants me to do, not about what I can do for others. Our world tells us to focus on our success, to be confident. But, that's so contradictory from what the Bible says. Who actually lives like "the first shall be last, and the last shall be first?" It's everyday ingrained into our minds that pushing people aside and neglecting them is necessary to be successful. God turns everything on its head.

Right now I'm just trying to strike a balance between working hard (not for my glory) and loving others (not myself). I wish the world would just fade away, and all it's wrong teaching that keeps corroding my mind. Yuck! For Pete's sake...

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